Typing
Mulder and Scully meet the Meyers Brigg Type Indicator and the Enneagram
I was first introduced to personality typing by my college roommate (a psych major) in late ‘95 or early ‘96 and I’ve been fascinated ever since. In 2006, I typed Mulder and Scully according to the MBTI and in 2008, I typed them according to the Enneagram. I’ve seen other people type them differently. I just think they’re wrong.
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Scully is an ISTJ (profiles @ TypeLogic and Personality Page) and a 1w9.
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The ISTJ’s word is as good as gold, and they honor their commitments faithfully. They believe that to do otherwise would be nothing less than a breach of honor and trustworthiness. Consequently, they take their vows very seriously, and once they have said “I do”, that means they are bound to the relationship until “death do us apart” or otherwise. ISTJs are driven to fulfill their responsibilities and duties, and will do so with tireless effort. They will do their best to meet the obligations presented by the different relationship roles which they play during their lives, i.e. spouse, parent, offspring, etc. They may have difficulty showing warmth, but they frequently feel it in abundance, and most develop the ability to show it through sheer effort. If nothing else, the ISTJ holds the gold medal of all the personality types for Effort. They will put forth tremendous amounts of effort to accomplish goals which are important to them. If healthy relationships are among these goals, you can bet that the ISTJ will do everything that they can to foster and maintain healthy relationships.
ISTJ Strengths
* Honor their commitments
* Take their relationship roles very seriously
* Usually able to communicate what’s on their minds with precision
* Good listeners
* Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
* Able to take constructive criticism well
* Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
* Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for
ISTJ Weaknesses
* Tendency to believe that they’re always right
* Tendency to get involved in “win-lose” conversations
* Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
* Their value for structure may seem rigid to others
* Not likely to give enough praise or affirmation to their loved ones
ISTJs as Lovers
“To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive – to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.” — Rollo May
ISTJs are committed, loyal partners, who will put forth tremendous amounts of effort into making their relationships work. Once they have made a commitment to a relationship, they will stick with it until the end. They gladly accept their duty towards fulfilling their role in the relationship. ISTJs are generally willing and able to do anything which they have defined as a goal. So, if maintaining a good relationship is important to the ISTJ, they are likely to have a good relationship. If they have not added this goal to their internal “list” of duties, they are likely to approach the relationship in their “natural” state, which is extremely practical, traditional, and structured.
Sexually, the ISTJ is likely to approach intimacy from a physical perspective, rather than as a means of expressing love and affection. They usually have a problem expressing their deepest feelings, even though they may be very strongly felt. They will expect sex on a relatively scheduled basis, and are likely to honor traditions regarding gender role-playing. Male ISTJs will assert their perspective on their partners, while female ISTJs will tend to follow along with what their male counterparts want (although they will be uncomfortable with anything extremely out of the traditional norm).
ISTJs do not feel threatened by constructive criticism or conflict situations. When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct. They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic. Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don’t match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation. In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own “rightness” can shake the confidence of others involved. This habit can quickly turn conversations into “win-lose” situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their “I’m right” approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships. The ISTJ’s constant assertion of “rightness” may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions. If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships.
Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function (rather than Feeling), they are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living. This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them. The ISTJ needs to remember that others may need to hear that they are loved and valued, even if the ISTJ doesn’t need to hear this themself.
ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them. Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal “list” of duties. Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.
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Mulder is an INFP (profiles @ TypeLogic and Personality Page) and a 5w4.
(Note: Mulder is an atypical Type Five at best. He has a particularly strong wing.)
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INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they’re very sensitive and in-tune with people’s feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP’s perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.
INFP Strengths
Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:
* Warmly concerned and caring towards others
* Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
* Loyal and committed – they want lifelong relationships
* Deep capacity for love and caring
* Driven to meet other’s needs
* Strive for “win-win” situations
* Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
* Likely to recognize and appreciate other’s need for space
* Able to express themselves well
* Flexible and diverse
INFP Weaknesses
Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:
* May tend to be shy and reserved
* Don’t like to have their “space” invaded
* Extreme dislike of conflict
* Extreme dislike of criticism
* Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
* May react very emotionally to stressful situations
* Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
* Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
* Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
* Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
* Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
INFPs as Lovers
“To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive – to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.” — Rollo May
INFPs feels tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP’s being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.
INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a “more perfect” relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP’s deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.
Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedastal, the INFP’s tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedastal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.
INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.
Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mates satisfaction above their own.
One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. “TJ”s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ’s attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP’s fault.
For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict – which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they’re definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.
INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate’s privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate’s perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.
In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.
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What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
Enneagram Ones and Fives are alike in many ways, particularly in their reticence to show their emotions directly and in their identification with their minds. Both see themselves as fact-oriented, although Fives are more purely mental while Ones like their ideas and philosophies to have practical ramifications. Both bring to their relationship a desire to be objective; they both want to avoid falling into sentimentality, or to allow their feelings to cloud their mental clarity. Ones and Fives share a rich mental life of intellectual stimulation, curiosity, and a multiplicity of mutual interests—from the opera to sports to politics to economics to history, and so forth. Ones and Fives often enjoy each other’s company and intellectual stimulation, loving to debate and admiring the intelligence and expertise exhibited by the other. Unexpectedly, they tickle each other’s funny bone—this pair loves to laugh together at life’s absurdities. Child rearing, traveling, building a house, shared hobbies, or other complex activities are mutually stimulating and bonding for them.
They both are highly respectful of personal boundaries, rarely being the one to make the first move in anything regarding intimacy unless they have pretty strong signals from the other that they would be welcomed. Thus, Ones and Fives tend to bring a certain formality and courtesy to each other that can be charmingly courtly and old-fashioned. Ones add to this a concern with logic and order, with systematic thinking, attention to details and the desire to improve the world around them. Fives bring curiosity, the willingness to be intellectually (and sexually) adventuresome, a taste for the bizarre and illogical, and the ability to relish disorder, chaos, and lack of apparent meaning. There is quiet affectionate appreciation in this pairing. If romance develops, it develops slowly but deeply.
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For books on the Enneagram, I recommend The Wisdom of the Enneagram and The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul. For books on the MBTI, I recommend Gifts Differing.
Note that I’m recommending these because I’ve actually read them and own them. There are lots of others out there that are no doubt very good, too.